its really taking a toll on me. I’m sitting here going crazy, knowing i can’t do anything but dwell upon my mistakes. But I shouldn’t be sitting here at home. All I can do here think. Think. Think. I can’t do anything else. I can’t remember the last time i’ve been this stressed. No wait..
winter 2009-2010 i had a lot going on that year:
-I was a full time student at ai
-I had rehearsals up my ass for the Winter Olympic opening ceremonies
-worked pt at aritzia
-worked pt at big ridge
-just quit aritzia because i was unhappy there
-find out that big ridge is closing down
-I catch my mom’s bf.. doing shit
-our mom kicks us out of the house
-our dad kicks us out/or didn’t try to keep us
-my siblings and I move out on our own
-oh and my bf & I broke up on boxing day
it really was my most eventful winter.
All that stress is equally compared to how i’m feeling right now. I feel so pathetic. I don’t even know what this is. This is the wait for the moment of truth. Weed can’t even remedy this. Usually when i’m stressed I can’t eat nor sleep. I had the fattest sesh and I’m still sitting here, just thinking. Can’t eat, can’t sleep. I want to know, but I don’t at the same time. I’ve never been so scared to find something out.
So much pressure on my chest right now.
I know its just in my mind. But its getting hard to breathe.
Mind over matter, mind over matter.